


His Water, Her Fire

by TheGatsbyGirl



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/M, Relationship Study, Unhealthy Relationships (not applicable to main pairing)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:56:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10140380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGatsbyGirl/pseuds/TheGatsbyGirl
Summary: He wishes. She aches.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheAdamantDaughter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAdamantDaughter/gifts), [Araeph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Araeph/gifts).



> This fic is dedicated to Araeph and Theadamantdaughter, my two favorite meta writers.

He hates himself when he’s with her.

  
He constantly feels guilty; like he’s not worthy of someone like her. He’s weighed down by all that he’s done to her in the past. He didn’t treat her well enough, he didn’t give her the boyfriend she deserved. And she never lets him forget it.

  
She says she loves him. Sometimes. More often he hears “I don’t hate you.” He doesn’t hate her too.

  
When he’s weighed down with decisions, she rolls her eyes and says “sorry the ruler of the Fire Nation is busy or overwhelmed or whatever. What did you expect?” When he has meetings to go to or delegates to meet, she greets him when he comes home. But not with a reassuring smile or a warm question, but with crossed arms and the seed of an argument.

  
It always goes the same. “Why can’t you spend more time with me? I’m your fiancée. Don’t you care about me?”

  
He sighs and explains how he has to do these tings, it’s his duty, the people are counting on him. She bites back by saying that she has needs too, she needs him to be with her. His mind always says he has needs, but so does he. He surrenders with an apology and she accepts it with a kiss.

  
Her lips are cold.

  
He _knows_ he should feel more than just her skin. He knows that all he’s going to do is wonder how it would feel to kiss another person’s lips and he hates himself even more. He hates how he loves dreams of chocolate hair splayed against crimson sheets and long tan fingers caressing his body. Dreams of ardent sighs and whispering three mesmerizing syllables against another person’s silky neck.

  
It’s an endless cycle of optimism and disappointment, of let downs and fantasies of what could have been. He wishes that someone would break the cycle. Someone with blue eyes at the other side of the world.

  
He wishes for the compassion he always saw in her eyes. He wishes for the first time he saw her as _Katara_ , the brilliant waterbender who saw _Zuko_. He wishes for her hand on his scar and the sensation of trust at her touch. He wishes for the relief that washed over him when she flew at him with her arms outstretched. He wishes for the connection; the connection built upon a lost mother and lonely years. The connection that grew into something more. He wishes for the urgency that took hold of him when he saw that lightning coming toward her and the need to protect her when he ran. He wishes that he had known that feeling was love before he returned to Mai.

  
He wishes that he was with _her_.

_  
Katara._

  
Zuko feels a tear run down the burned flesh of his scar for the hundredth time.

* * *

She aches.

  
She aches to be more to him. After the defeat of the Fire Lord, life just happened. Events played out the way she always knew they would. The way she always dreamed they would. Marriage proposals. A home. Children. But in her dreams it was different. She aches to hear him say “this is Katara, my wife. She’s a really great waterbender!” But she knows all she’ll ever hear is “this is Katara, my wife.” _My_ wife. _Mine_.

  
She’s not a trophy. So why does she always feel like she’s put on a pedestal?

  
Aang loves her. But he doesn’t love _her_. He loves the girl he saw years ago after waking from hundred-year sleep. He loves the Katara who he wants her to be.

  
She thinks about the Republic City and the statues there. The one of Aang, of course. The million statues of Toph. They joked for a long time about how many statues Toph could possibly get. Bets were even made. The one of Sokka that always makes her smile. And the one of Zuko. Her heart soars when she sees it. When she sees that statue, she sees freedom. She sees redemption. She sees strength. She aches to feel that when she looks at her statue. And then she remembers that her statue doesn’t exist.

  
She aches to help people. She aches to feel the adrenaline rush of a fight and the triumph that follows. She aches to see the smiling faces of men, women, and children who finally have what they need. She aches to feel tendrils of water circle around her arms as she attacks an enemy, to feel the rush of water turning to ice under her hands. But now that she’s the avatar’s wife, all she does is heal. Which is good. Healing makes people healthy again. It’s a good thing. But it’s not all she is. It doesn’t define her.

  
But since she got married, it’s all that anyone sees her as.

  
She’s not Katara anymore. She’s Avatar Aang’s wife.

  
She gazes out the window at the face of the full moon. The moon spirit calls to her. It begs for her to push and pull the tides along with it. But even though she’s perfectly able to get out of bed and tiptoe outside to toy with the ocean, she feels like she can’t. The man sleeping beside her is holding her back. He’s holding her back, and she’s longing for the one who raised her up.

  
She aches to feel as she did, like an equal, like a real person instead of a fantasy. Never idealized. She aches for the warmth that she felt when she embraced him. She aches for the excuses she made to herself for why her heart wouldn’t stop beating after she gave him her forgiveness. She aches for the conversations that lasted hours and hours and for the electricity that came with wielding water beside fire. She aches to feel her skin smolder under a golden gaze and to tangle her fingers in raven hair. She aches for the understanding he showed her every time he looked at her, the understanding that is so distant now. She aches for his rare smile and the joy it always brought to her heart. She aches for the crackling realization that hit her as white lightning hit him. She aches for the man who fell to the ground and the man who leaned on her shoulders and rose up again.

  
She aches for him. The one she really loves.

  
He wants to stop being burned by the ones who say they love him and bathe in his water. She wants to leave the wind that constantly blows her away from who she is and return to her fire.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in an effort to show the different ways in which I feel the main canon relationships in ATLA are unhealthy and how I believe Zuko and Katara would be an extremely beautiful and stable relationship. It’s basically my own meta analysis of the two canon relationships and the relationship that should have been.  
>   
> \-------  
> Thank you for reading this. Comments and kudos water my crops!  
> Yell at me on [tumblr](http://kataruhh.tumblr.com) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/TheGatsbyGirl)


End file.
